…logon ka kaam hai kehna
Chodo, bekaar ki baaton mein
Kahi beet na jaaye raina….
If you are one of those people who worry about ‘log kya kahengey’ and whose actions are guided by what people around you think or say, then this post is for you.
I am sure, your parents or best friend or other half or colleague or mentor or someone…some..one.. who knows you well has told you at least once, that you must not worry about what others say or think and that you must do what you think is right. Ok, it is easier said, than done.
I was just like you once upon a time but I am no longer affected by ‘log kya kahengey’ syndrome [else even as I write this post I would have been wondering ''padhney waaley kya sochengey?'' ].
What got me out of this syndrome is a little (yet an invaluable) lesson that I learnt one afternoon in my office.
A bit of a background before I tell you what I realised that afternoon - My manager K used to be very nasty to me and she used to let off all her steam at me even at times when those things that bothered her had nothing to do with me. Tell me, how fair it is for her to scream at me if her niece broke her sunglasses? Things like this were reasons for her to shout at me in front of rest of the colleagues. K was anyway not popular in the office. People believed she had a sad life and that she was insensitive to peoples’ problems.
Lucky me (or unlucky me) a ‘sympathy club’ had formed in the office that constituted of those colleagues who could not stand K very much. In the name of protection, members of the ‘sympathy club’ were advising me to shout back at K but they were actually fighting their own battles against K through me which I was not aware of.
As I was affected by ‘log kya kahengey’ syndrome then, I could not muster the courage to even have a quiet conversation with K, let alone shouting back at her. After a while, the ‘log kya kahengey’ syndrome began to work the other way round. I mean, if I simply put up with K’s harassment, what will members of the ‘sympathy club’ think of me???? Battling with this dilemma, I finally decided to please the 'sympathy club' members and one afternoon I shouted back at K when she lost her temper at me. Mission accomplished!! But, did anyone gain anything by my screaming? Neither me nor K but others in the office certainly did. It is a joy to watch such scenes. K was hurt though, because I ended up saying things that I would have never even dreamt of saying to someone, let alone K. I hate to imagine, how much it hurts when someone calls a person ‘lonely and miserable’. It was appalling and totally unprofessional of me.
This was the lesson that I learnt that afternoon - When you think ‘log kya kahengey?’ You end up not being able to do what you actually want to do or how you want to deal with a situation. And if you do things only to please the ‘log’, then you end up not being YOURSELF.
Since then, I have chosen to be myself and to follow my heart . Now I don't do things because ‘log kuch kahengey’. Everyone of us is unique and special - why bother about what others think of us or say about us or anything we do? For, those of you who are affected by 'log kya kahengey' and who do things to please others, apart from sharing my experience I would also like to share with you what I once read - ''Looking back you realise that a very special person passed briefly through your life – and it was YOU. It is never too late to become that person again'' – Robert Brault.