A small BIG Lesson

 

The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of  empathy - Meryl Streep

...

  

Today at the supermarket I bumped into one of my ex-colleagues. On seeing her, my first reaction was to pretend to be busy shopping in order to avoid talking to her.  I know that is not a nice thing to do, but with this lady I have always tried to limit our conversations to work related matters only. However, I am glad that things turned out differently today.  Just as I was trying to ignore this lady, she came up to me and greeted me.  After exchanging pleasantries, we ended up having a long chat. 

I had always thought of her as an insensitive and selfish person. In the past, I have known her to laugh at others’ misfortunes such as someone under depression, someone getting stressed about trying to conceive, someone unable to cope with job pressure so on and so forth. Sometimes I wondered if she laughed as a reflex! 

To be fair to her, I think basically she lacked empathy and lacked the ability to step into other person’s shoes and consider how they may be feeling.  As a result she used to come off as mean and uncaring.

Surprisingly, today she came off as a nice person.  It was good to hear how she had nice things to say about some of our common friends. However, I was sorry to learn of her health issues and that currently she has been going through a particularly difficult phase in her life. This has changed her attitude remarkably and it has placed her in a position where she can truly see what goes on for others.  

Sometimes life has a peculiar way of teaching us valuable lessons. Bad things could just happen to anyone and most of the time through no fault of their own. When somebody is in despair, we may not perfectly understand their situation or what they must be going through at that moment (unless of course, we have experienced it ourselves) but certainly, we can be empathetic to them. It takes nothing away from us to show some kindness and compassion, even if it is to someone who we hardly care about otherwise.  

Letting Go................

For the past few weekends I have been on a quest to get rid my house off stuff that I have collected over the years. I have already cleared bags of clothes, shoes, magazines and other household items that no longer are of use to me but were just adding to the clutter in my house. There are still several items that need clearing but the purging gets harder as it gets down to personal items – diaries, cards, presents, soft toys, DVDs etc. In order to make space for new items, I need to make some arrangements: either organise the current stack better or let go some stuff.

                                       

This afternoon I wasn’t particularly keen to do the de-cluttering. As I tried to put away the book that was lying on the bed for the past so many days, onto my bookshelf, the stack of books on the topmost rack of the shelf got disturbed and a lot of books toppled down. It was high time I organised the bookshelf ! I have now managed to get rid of some old books and journals, organized the remaining books and I have made space for new books. Currently, the house looks a bit cleaner and spacious and there is room for some new stuff.

The same principle applies to human mind too. There are certain times when the mind gets piled up with worries, disappointments and pain. It can push us to the edge that one more harsh word, a rude comment or disappointment can bring us down completely. Just like how our surroundings need a bit of purging from time to time, sometimes mind also needs some cleaning out. We need to defuse negative energy and let go off anger, unpleasant memories and pain and gather ourselves and welcome positive energy. A calm and clear mind is the key to peace and happiness and it enables us to stay focused on the bigger picture ahead of us.

 

''The Pursuit of HappYness''

Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

Dance as though no one is watching you.

Love as though you have never been hurt before.

Sing as though no one can hear you.

Live as though heaven is on earth.

                       - Alfred D'Souza

...

I was speaking to my friend today and during our conversation, she told me that her one year old boy is getting very naughty these days and she cannot wait for him to go to school now. That just reminded me of what my grandfather told me during my recent visit to India. In his 80s when he has fulfilled all his responsibilities and he is just enjoying his time with his children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, grandpa says that most of life is about WAITING - waiting to grow up, waiting to go to school, then college, waiting to get into employment, waiting to find love, waiting to have a family and then the whole circle repeats as you wait to watch your childrem grow, wait to watch them go to school…..wait, wait, wait and wait until you reach the final destination.

Grandpa also said that this wait is coupled with hopes for a better future. All through the journey of life we convince ourself that life would be better after every stage. For instance, when you are at school, you think college life is better. Enter college, you think work life is better. You start a job, you think life would be better after a promotion and this goes on and on. 

Despite the wait and hope, we always look back in life and recollect the past days of life fondly. All of us have some moments in life that we want to hold on to and never want to let go off . We are always in the pursuit of happiness. As described by Alfred D’souza, ''There is no way to happiness but happiness is the way. Happiness is a journey and not a destination and therefore we must treasure every moment we have’’.  Rightfully so, afterall, today is the future that we hoped would be a better one yesterday and today  will be the past that we would look back at some day in the future and cherish. In our pursuit of happiness we must understand that there is no better time to be happy than NOW.

Up And Down The Slide

Sliding off from a height means

You have something to climb back up !

...

During my walk in the park today, I saw a group of children playing on the slide – sliding down zoom and then running towards the steps at the back of the slide to once again climb to the top and slide down. One particular little boy caught my attention. Every time he came sliding down from the top onto the ground, instead of going back to the top of the slide via the steps at the back of the slide, he would try and climb back up the slide itself. During this, a few times he slipped and fell down but that did not deter him from climbing. He tried and eventually succeeded. Every time he made it to the top, he was overjoyed! Words fail me to describe his happiness throughout.

The little boy’s downward journey along the slide was fast and scary. His upward journey was a struggle but he did not give up. With determination and courage he got there and it was rewarding.

Journey of life has ups and downs too. The downhill journey of life is scary and fast and sometimes tends to blindside us. The uphill journey of life is always a struggle but rewarding in the end. Whatever mountain we are climbing, whatever dreams we are building, we will always face barriers along the way. Whether it is a downhill journey or a  barrier during the uphill journey, failure should not knock us from our path. During tough times, we just need to take a minute to reflect on how uniquely our life experiences have prepared us to make it through both journeys – THE UPS AS WELL AS DOWNS OF LIFE and move on.

Fultu Bakwaas - Knowledge and Wisdom

What is the difference between Knowledge and Wisdom ?

Knowledge is knowing that a saw can cut the branch of the tree.

Wisdom is knowing not to saw off the particular branch that you are sitting on!

Ek Pal Ka Jeena....

....Phir Tho Hai Jaana...

Tohfa Kya Leke Jaaye, Dil Yeh Bataana

Khaali Haath Aaye They Hum

Khaali Haath Jaayenge

Bas Pyaar Ke Do Meethey Bol Jhilmilaayenge

Tho Hans kyonki Duniya Ko Hai Hansaana.... 

...

I woke up to some very bad news this morning: First, the sudden death of my friend’s father in India. Second, the earthquake in Japan. It was devastating to hear. My heart goes out to my friend and the rest of her family and the thousands and thousands of people in Japan during this difficult time.

News like this though disturbing, serves as a reminder that life is just so unpredictable and we never know what each day will bring.

People who have suffered loss today had no choice. Destiny forced them to let go of their dear ones and all the other material stuff that they would have been endearingly attached to. But there are times when we do have the choice to let somethings go: No argument, anger, jealousy or revenge against any person can ever be worth it if destiny plays its trick and you don’t see that person ever again. Letting go is a kind of bravery.

Each day is a miracle. Let us live it to the fullest. Let us spread smiles, kindness and love. Let us learn to forgive and grab every opportunity to be happy and make others around us happy and make this life worthwhile.

Fultu Bakwaas - Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar

Once a bunch of frogs decided to hold a competition. The goal was to reach the top of a high tower in the centre of town. As the frogs engaged in the competition, a large crowd gathered to watch the race. But no one in the crowd actually believed that the frogs could make it to the top of the tower. As the race began, the crowd began to ridicule the frogs and started shouting things like – ''oh way too difficult, you wont make it, not for you, the tower is too high, give up so on and so forth. The frogs began to fall off, one by one except those who were focused in the race. The crowd continued to ridicule the failed frogs by saying, ''see, we told you, you couldn’t do it''. Listening to this, few other frogs gave up. 

One by one, the frogs began to feel tired and quit except for one tiny frog who continued higher and higher and higher. Eventually, this frog made it to the top of the tower. After the race, all the other frogs gathered around this frog as they wanted to know how he had managed to reach to the top while none of them could. The frog was innundated with questions from all directions and it turned out that the frog was deaf!

I am sure you may have heard or read this story before. Although this story is often narrated as a joke, I think it makes a lot of sense. Towards the path of success we often encounter negativity and lose focus. In such situations, I think one must turn a deaf  ear to negativity and stay focused in one's goal. What say?

Fly on.....Fly on.....I Am With You.......

.....I burst with pride at seeing you go

but I hide from you my loneliness and 

secretly scream 'please don't go'

Fly on my sweet, fly on

I will be here when you come home

I will hide my pain just for you,

For you to make it through

What you have to do

                              - L.M.Owens

... 

When my brother and I were growing up, we often heard our parents say how their lives revolved around us. I did not give much thought to that until that particular day five years ago when I left my home to settle in England.

It was a bright September morning.  Around 8am, the taxi arrived to take me to the airport. There was a buzz in the street, the usual morning buzz – people going to work, children going to school, the 'sabziwaala' with his trolley of vegetables, joggers returning from the park. It was just like any other morning. But the only difference was that, on that particular day, I was leaving home to go to a place thousands of miles away; from where I could only speak to my parents over telephone; from where I could not  return back at the end of  the day. I was leaving home to start a new life.

As the driver was loading my luggage in the taxi, reality struck me – The time had come for parting. I was teary. My parents’ eyes were misty. Bhaiyya was helping the driver load my luggage in the taxi. Few years ago, on a day like this, he had left home to pursue his career. It was my turn today. I sought my Parents’ blessings and gave them a tight hug and stepped into the taxi. I had requested that they do not come to the airport to see me off.

As the taxi reached the far end of the road from my home, I turned back to look at my parents. They were still standing outside the gate waving at me. To me they seemed a bit lonely (though they had each others’company). Perhaps they were sad that their nest had become empty. 

Indeed, for years my parents' lives had been revolving around their children's. They were always teaching me and Bhaiyya to be independent. The early lessons were in polishing our shoes, tying our shoe laces, packing our school bags, lunches. This was followed by learning to ride a bicycle, running minor errands for the house, helping Amma in the household chores. Further, their lessons enabled us to make appropriate career choices and more importantly face the challenges of LIFE. Thinking of all this, I wanted to get off the taxi and come back to my Papa and Amma but I had to gather myself. I had to be practical and move on. I am sure Papa’s and Amma’s hearts ached too to see their baby girl leave but they had to let me fly and face the real world.

My parents’ lives still revolve around Bhaiyya’s and my life. As much excited as Bhaiyya and I  are when we experience new things, they are excited for us too. They are always looking forward to listening to the stories that me and Bhaiyya have to tell about our daily lives. They still do feel the emptiness in their nest but they know that their children will return to the nest every now and then.

It is that time of the year again when I fly back to my parents’ nest. I am going to India on Thursday to spend good three weeks with my parents. YAY!!!!!!!!

Say CheeeeeeeeSeeeeeeeeeee.........

''You get what you give.The more you give the more you get'' - Buddha

Here you go: I give you my biggest SMILE (eeeeeeeeeeee....) and warm greetings for this beautiful day.  Now its your turn. Give me your biggest, happiest and choicest smiles ever.

Keep Smiling because:

If there is something that is bothering you just like me, then let us SMILE together, for every smile is the beginning of a new phase of happiness 

 If you are reading this post then 

Have a good day dosts.

Cheers
Always Happy

Aa Chalkey Tujhey....

Photo courtesy:www.johnspotphotography.com

 ......Main lekey chaloon

Ek aisey gagan ke thaley

Jaha Gham bhi na ho

Aansoo bhi na ho

Bas pyaar hi pyaar paley

ek aisey gagan ke thaley...

...

I was just humming this beautiful song by Kishore Kumar and was lost in my memories associated with this song. Let me share this memory with you today.

When I was a little girl, every night while my parents tucked me into bed, Papa would narrate a bed time story.  Papa’s stories normally began something like this – '' once upon a time there was a happy place and there lived a little girl.... a sparrow...a rabbit..…etc etc. Basically, all of Papa’s stories were based in this ''happy place''. When I used to ask Papa where was this happy place located, Papa would say that if I close my eyes and take a deep breath, I would be able to see that happy place. I followed this advice and every time, Papa narrated me a story, I would close my eyes, take a deep breath and try to find the happy place and the little girl, the bird or whoever the character of the story was. It worked, I could actually see the characters of the story and also fall asleep peacefully.

As I grew a bit older and I was beyond the age of  listening to bedtime stories ( mind you, I would still love to listen to Papa's bedtime stories..Papa is simply good at narrating stories...Oh the happy childhood days!) , Amma and Papa used to play some soft melodies of the 60s and 70s era during bedtime. Whenever the tape recorder, played Aa chalkey tujhe song I would close my eyes, take a deep breath and think of  Papa's bed time stories and also I used to see all the good things around me and develop a calm and peaceful feeling.

Happiness lies within us. If we don’t see them, they become invisible. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and go to that happy place within you. That Happy place belongs to you, it is with you in whatever you do and you can take it with you wherever you go. As you go to that happy place within you, don’t you hear a voice there that asks you to believe in yourself?  Don't you hear the voice that asks you to remain hopeful and positive? Don’t you hear the voice that asks you to share love and respect? Does that happy place not bring a smile on your face?

As, I write this post, I am feeling a deep sense of happiness. I want to take this opportunity to THANK all you lovely Blogdosts who read my blog and who leave comments on my posts, my THANKS are also due to all you lovely visitors who read my blog and don’t leave comments but do come back to my blog another time.  All of you mean a lot to me and  and it is you who inspire me to carry on producing blogposts. I want you all to know that I love you all and want you to be happy always. I hope that we will continue our friendship in the new year too.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF YOU. I hope your Santa brings you loads of happiness.

Here’s wishing  all you lovely bloggers and readers  in the Blogosphere a VERY HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR. I hope all your dreams come true just like how you wish them to be or even BETTER. Hope all of us are surrounded by good health, fortune and HAPPINESS always.

I will be back with new posts on other side of this decade.

Lots of Love and Best Wishes

Always Happy



Hang on.....Gather strength.....Spread your wings....Take flight........

Colourful, vibrant, enchanting, beautiful ......

Fluttering by, flitting from flower to flower .....

BUTTERFLY BUTTERFLY flutter by flutter by....

...

I was delighted by the beautiful butterfly that I saw during my morning walk today. The butterfly just came fluttering by and sat on a flower gently. The flower swayed but the butterfly stood still on its surface. A minute later the butterfly flapped its wings and rose into the air; once again it was  in the sky, flitting from flower to flower, fluttering its strong yet so fragile wings.

In happiness, we are like the fluttering butterfly in the air and in sorrow, we should be like the butterfly that stands still on the surface of the swaying flower. During the downs, just hang on, gather strength and stretch your wings and take off rejuvenated for the next phase.

A litte fact

 

While I was sitting on a bench and sipping into my hot chocolate at the shopping mall this evening, my eyes caught sight of this (probably) three year old girl playing with a balloon. Her mother was chatting to someone on her mobile phone. The little girl appeared extremely joyful to throw and kick the balloon around. She was applauding and shouting joyfully  every time the balloon flew up and landed either on the flower pot by the side of the bench that her mother was sitting on or on the lap of the old lady who was sat on the other side of the bench. The girl was simply fascinated to watch the balloon bob about when she gently patted it. The fun continued for few minutes until there was a noise DHUBBBBBB and the balloon burst :(. Initially, The little girl was frightened by the bang of the bursting balloon and when she realised that she had lost her toy, needless to say, she was in tears.

It was disappointing to see the happy child crying. But what moved me was what the girl's mother said to her to comfort her.  She told the little girl, ''You had great fun until few minutes ago. Let me know when you feel better again and we can ring daddy and tell him how the balloon moves high when you pat it gently’’.

  

Isn't that amazing how putting things in perspective helps to handle disappointments? The little girl understood that minor disappointments don’t last forever as she was explaining to her dad about the good time that she had had with the balloon. 

You can either do this or that ......

Let us face it - not always all things that we plan goes as per the plan. But that is the beauty of life. It is full of ups and downs. Life is never fair. Kuch paane ke liye kuch khona padta hai. Like my friend AC says, when things go wrong you can either do two things:

1) Be sad and brood
2) Accept the beauty of spontaneity that life presents and move on.

Second option sounds better. It is easier said than done... but that is life. It s all about embracing  the imperfections and taking each day as it comes.

Little things in life

When I was a little girl, I had no complaints about my life for I had no idea of what friendship, ambition, purpose of life meant. Neither did I know what life had in store for me when I turn twenty something year old. Today I am 20 something year old and I have plenty of reasons to complain about….my colleague at work is so disruptive and nosy,  my friend lied to me about something….my life is not as good as so and so’s life… so on and so forth. So where did things change? May be I became wise and began to understand life better. But if that was the case, why do I not see good things anymore all around me just like how I used to when I was a little girl? Why do I see only negative things?

This debate has been going on in the back of my mind for the past few days. This morning as I was getting ready to go to work I paused for a minute and asked myself  ‘’what have I been doing about it?’’.  Just identifying that I have problems in life is no good. Then, the next question that came to my mind was ‘’ what can I do about it?’’ For sure, something needs to be done as I cannot keep going like this and make my life miserable.

So, what can I really do to change my non ideal life situation to an ideal one or at least close to an ideal one? I cannot change my colleague’s behaviour for that is how she has been her entire life..I cannot change what my friend said,  it is a history now…the damage has already been done. The only thing I can do is change my perspective of things and the situations and people, perhaps, I should think like a child and divest myself of all negativity and put away all the bad memories.May be I should try and appreciate people much more and understand their point of view.

My life is my own and I must take complete ownership of it without letting anything that anyone said or what anyone did affect me. I have now come up with a new theme for my life – that is to enjoy the little things in life for they come around so much more often than the big things. These little enjoyments in life will give me patience to wait for things that I want but don’t have yet. They will also enable me to maintain as constant or even make better, the things that make me happy now.

Ok, so now its time to jot down few of the things that make me happy and make my life good now:

-       Spending time with family

-       My morning and evening walks

-       Blogging, Reading other favourite blogs

-       Cooking, Trying new recipes

-       Hanging out with my best friends

-       Studying for GMAT

I will still take my life day by day, but now I am better prepared to face the challenges that each day brings, without any fear. Indeed, happiness lies in tiny details and if we don’t see them they become invisible. LIFE IS GOOD.