Thursday 6 January 2011

A Lesson Learnt

This evening as I was walking out of the office door, I bumped into Henry,  my colleague. Today was Henry's first day back in the office after the Christmas and New year break. I had not had a chance to speak to him all day. So I greeted him with a big smile and wished him Happy New Year. He reciprocated. So far so good, but the trouble started when I decided to continue speaking about the festive season. Earlier, I had heard others in the office ask one another whether they spent their Christmas with their family. I threw the same question at Henry:

Me: So, did you spend time with your parents on Christmas day?
Henry: Nah...I just stayed at home and relaxed.

Me: Why not? 

Henry: It is very difficult and a long distance to reach them. 

Me: You had so many days off work and yet you did not visit your parents!!!!!!

''That's where they live'', said Henry, pointing at the sky. If I had not already felt awful listening to this, Henry further added, '' I am an orphan''.

I was dumbfounded at that and equally embarrassed. I am still mad at myself for having asked Henry so many questions. Honestly, I thought I was striking a casual conversation. I had no idea I would end up upsetting Henry and in turn myself.

Having said that, I learnt a lesson this evening to not to probe so deep into another person's life. I resolve never to ask someone something just because everyone else asks each other.


  1. well.. not such wrong u did, i think.... it does happens some times... we ask something with our frnds bcoz we do hav a concern for them.... so cheer up... be happy.... always happy....:)

    ("Incredible India …the Bundle of Contradictions" my new post)

  2. Awww! But that wasn't your fault.You never had intentions of hurting the guy.Sometimes we do end up in embarrassing situations like this and I really feel bad for the guy.

  3. good resolution howver it wud h been betr if nt leanred this way, we r the luky ones! arent we?

  4. Hey its not your fault at all... We all ask these question casually to our friends n colleagues to strike a conversation...

  5. honest mistake i guess.. dont put urself down.. as you said you did not know.. I am sure he wud be fine with it.

    dont agree with the resolve, if you wont ask then how will you know .. you will end up asking something else then .. :)


  6. It is not any one's mistake, Always Happy. It just happens. But the lesson you learned is important: not to probe too much into someone else's life. :)

  7. happens many times, but then, its not your fault.

  8. @ Irfan: perhaps you are right.

    @ Yasha: True, I didnt intend to hurt my friend. but what I feel bad about is why on earth did I ask a question like that, why did i not just ask if he had had a lovely break??

    @Vinnet: correct, I wish I did not have to learn it this way.

    @Tanishka: yes, I merely asked to keep the conversation going as the two of us were walking out together.

    @Bikram: hope he is fine today. He was wfh today so I did not see him.
    haha..true, I wont know what else to ask and thus I may end up asking something inapproopriate like ''where do your parents live?'' or something irrelevant.

    @Anu: True. Thanks

    @Harish: Hope such a awkward situation doesnt raise again. I will think before I speak.

    @Anshul: sahi hai. Thank you.

    Thank you all.

  9. this just happens

  10. Hello sm, I hope to be careful next time.

  11. Sometimes resolutions like this will work good for us! Nevertheless, there is nothing wrong in what you asked!

  12. Aw, man. It happens. Often, happened to me, actually.

    *Because of the death of my brother, I wasn't attending any parties, or anything. And this girl, Aashi, who has been trying her best to be good friends with me... kept messaging me forwarded shit, and came at my place to pick me for a birthday party, EVEN when I told her I won't be able to. She was trying too hard, actually.*

    Phew, no need to say the rest, isn't it?

  13. @ Vaish: hello. Thank you.

    @Arijit: I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. I hope you are coping well. I understand, one needs time to accept what has happened before moving on.Hope Ashi is being patient with you now. Bestest wishes always, Arijit.

  14. Its not your fault dear...but also never be hesitant to talk next time when someone actually wants to share their feelings with you...

  15. where did my comment go ? :'(

  16. Hey Poonam, thank you. yeah sure, i will need to understand when to say something, what to say and what not to say.

    Hey S, nahi mila doosra comment...:(

  17. There are moments when we are at a loss for is important to be grateful for things we have...Touching.

  18. Alka, thats how i was when my colleague spoke..didnt kknow what to say then.

  19. Life is full of surprises pleasant and tragic. We never know when we come across. It happens, its life.

  20. Hello Lakshmi, true, that is life!


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